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Saturday, 6 October 2012

STRESSFUL LIFE, STRESSFUL PARENTHOOD.....

I'm sitting here, on Saturday morning, writing this post with tea in hand, trying to unwind after what can only be described as a STRESSFUL week. I would normally have had a post lined up last night and linked to all sorts of fantastic parties by now. FAIL. I didn't get my post done yesterday, I didn't link to any parties yesterday. And this morning? Well, I wanna share something real with you. Not saying that DIY and crafting isn't real, but its an extra in my life. Life, and all its potentially crappy glory was my nemesis this week...


lovingly pinched from havoc-to-heaven.com



Let me start by saying that Tooter is going through a phase at the moment (well at least everyone keeps telling me its a phase) Boy I hope its a phase... He's rude, cheeky and disrespectful to me. Not at home that often, not in front of his Dad, but the minute we hit the gates of the school yard, I become a second-class citizen.

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this in my posts before; I work full time. We have a situation where Hubbers can work part time and pick Tooter up from school etc and I work full time. My job is demanding. Fun, but demanding. I don't really get afforded the luxury of being able to go to school related stuff often. Hubbers is great with all of it though, he loves being an almost-stay-at-home-Dad. I try and make as much time as possible for the little man. I take him to school every morning, put him to bed every night, read stories together, etc and spend most of the weekend with him doing stuff - just the two of us. Even with this, I still feel guilty for working.

I SHOULDN'T FEEL GUILTY! I provide for our family! But I do.........

This week was:

  • Really busy at work
  • Hubbers had to go into hospital for tests (which was scary)
  • Tooters attitude was epic
  • Budget issues - last months string of birthdays/parties left us a little light
  • Boiler needed serviced (worried about that costing a fortune right before Christmas!)
  • Car service light went on
  • Needed home heating oil (so not cheap)
  • Hubbers' birthday on Friday....organizing the "ins" and "outs" involved for the weekend
And to top the week off.........The teacher came to speak to Dad about Tooters work. Hmmmm. Seems as though he hasn't really gotten back in to the swing of school yet and isn't completing his classwork! He doesn't pay attention and takes a long time to complete the work. Great.

He's a smart kid. Too smart at times. He's perfectly capable. He's just lazy. We went through this exact same situation at the start of last year. It took a few months to get out of it. He's stubborn. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!

Why can't life be easy??? Or at least throw you a bone every now and then???? *I was feeling very sorry for myself here*

 SO, what do you do when life throws you a pile of poop???

NEW UPDATED ROUTINE!!

Here's what we came up with for adjusting the kid related issues. I have to say, so far, its working really really well. I spoke to a few mommy friends and they were saying that I should share this new routine. It seems as though there are alot of parents in the same boat with their 6 year olds....cheeky attitude can be contagious ;-) So, here's what we came up with:

4 MAJOR RULES

Each one of these rules corresponds to 15 minutes of TV time. The amount of TV he can watch is directly related to how he does with these 4 rules. 


If he completes all 4 rules everyday, he earns himself 1 hour of TV time after dinner. Otherwise, he only gets 15 minutes for each rule he sticks with.

In the evenings, after I get home from work, the 3 of us make dinner together and talk. We talk about our day, we draw at the kitchen table, we write in our story book. Anything that engages us as a family. After dinner is finished, we tally up his TV time and talk briefly about what he did / didn't do, and how he can improve (if needed) for tomorrow.

So far....this has been GREAT! He knows he's in control of the situation and he's proud of what he accomplishes in the day. To top it off; we had his weekly report sent home on Friday. All classwork completed and a few messages about how great he was in class!! RESULT!!!!!!!

We're sure that there will be bumps in the road but ultimately, we have a plan, a routine to keep us right. A lot of families can wing it and take each day as it comes. We can't. Tooter needs structure and routine and I've come to realize over the years that we do too!

Tooters and I even got the cake made for Hubbers!! 


Even though I didn't get to post a project, I did get the chance this week to start my new feature : What Would YOU Do Wednesday. I'm proud of my new little feature! It gives all of you the chance to tell me what you'd do with my stash!! 

Remember, when life deals you a pile of poop, hang in there, it'll get better ;-) 

Happy weekend peeps x















7 comments:

  1. Oh Helen, it does get better. I know that doesn't bring comfort as you're going through it now, but it will. I love your plan for TV time. I could use it for my 18 year old! No, the tidiness part doesn't get easier.... Wake up with the faith of knowing you're doing everything you can to care for your family. I've been an 80+hour working working mom and I've been a stay at home mom. Both are hard and there is always guilt all around. You're doing great and now you have a whole lot of blogger-friends to hold you up. Hang in there.

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  2. Just stopped by to let you know that I featured your upcycled pillows on my round tuit post this week!
    Round Tuit 121
    Thanks again for linking up! Hope you have a great week!
    Jill @ Creating my way to Success

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  3. Hi,
    I came from Shabby Art Boutique, and let me tell you that once I read this:

    MOTHERHOOD: is a choice YOU make everyday, to put someone else's happiness ans well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing, even if you're not sure what the right thing is.....and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing EVERYTHING WRONG.

    I have 2 daughters, 23 and 18 years old...and still sometimes have some issues with them. I also worked full time for 15 years, and I was single. We as loving mothers, are doing our best to rise our children the best way we know, with love and lots of patience...yeah...mainly patience. LOL

    Anyway, it's good to know your kid is doing better with the new rules.

    Have a wonderful week. :0)

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  4. Hi Helen,
    I get this post. This past weekend was poop! I so admire your new working plan! I have had the same issues with my boys at times. Thank you for joining me at Home Sweet Home. Which can be so Home Sweat Home at times!
    Sherry

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  5. My children are grown and have kids of their own...but I remember how difficult life could be at times when they were young. Things keep changing but it sure is wonderful when they turn into responsible adults! You are doing great! Warm hugs, Esther

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  6. Oh my goodness girl, you are amazing! You have a family, a full time job and a blog? That is beyond a full load! Congrats on your new program. I love your "when life throws you lemons" or poop attitude ;)

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  7. Hello, new follower here! I would love to have you link up with my Clever Chicks Blog Hop this week!
    http://www.the-chicken-chick.com/2012/10/upcycled-chicken-coop-clever-chicks.html

    I hope to see you there!
    Cheers!
    Kathy
    The Chicken Chick

    ReplyDelete